Science Reveals: That Make Men's Look Powerful

 

Asking questions makes you look stupid, right? I know for me personally that’s what I thought.

I didn’t want to be that person in college raising my hands slowing down the class to

ask a question that in my mind I should have known.

Well, it turns out that belief is wrong. In fact, asking the right questions can make

you look more powerful, more intelligent, and more attractive.

So, what questions should you be asking and in what order? Gentlemen, that’s the subject

of today’s article.

So, the first question you want to ask to come off

as more powerful, more attractive, this is what I call the courage question. This can

be almost anything just to get the conversation started.

Hi. How are you doing? Hello. My name is Muhammad Saad Asif. What’s yours? tell me in the comment.

Ohio State, right? This seems like a simple question, but here’s

the thing. How many times you wanted to speak to somebody whether it’s an attractive woman,

whether it’s just another colleague that you think you know who this person is and

you don’t do it. To start the conversation takes courage. Why?

Because there’s a chance you can be rejected. That being said, and more likely it will take

us to question number two. I call this the display interest question.

Basically, you are going to follow up to their response. You’ve started the conversation,

they are now getting back to you and you are going to follow up with additional questions

that probe that go into what they want to talk about.

The fact is most men and women are very egocentric. We want to talk about our accomplishments.

Knowing this, your goal with these questions is to stroke the ego, to ask questions to

genuinely show interest in this person because when you do this, people are more likely to

like you. When you show interest in others, they will show interest in you.

Another strength with these follow up questions is you’re asking them to expand on something

they already volunteered to talk about. People sometimes can be close, they don’t want

to open up about certain things you may be questioning specifically about.

But, when you put an open question and they start to volunteer information, then when

you ask them to expand on that, they are very happy too because these are their passions,

these are things that they’re proud of. The next series of questions that you want

to ask to come off as more powerful and more attractive, ask questions that display your

intelligence. Now, one of the most powerful ways to display

intelligence is to probe into people’s problems that they’re willing to share with you and

help them realize what the solution is. Now, sometimes sharing the answer will work,

but if they feel like it’s being forced on them, they’re not going to take it. Now,

one way to make this work is just give them the solution and if it’s a very technical

question, then that can work. But, a lot of times the problems that people

are facing are more complex. Like a boss that’s complete A-hole and she can’t figure out

how to deal with the situation. What you want to do here is share a similar experience,

how you were able to overcome and she’ll be able to figure out, hey, based off of this

example, how can I apply that knowledge to my situation.

Another way to show intelligence when asking questions going back to those follow up questions,

you follow up you repeat back what they said and then you expand on it bringing in your

own thoughts and passions. This can work really well in a work situation.

Maybe where you got people from two different departments, engineering and marketing, who

may not fully trust each other, but when the marketers can repeat back what they understood

from the engineers and then expand on it on how it’s going to apply to the overall company

strategy, all of a sudden, everyone is rowing in the same direction.

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it out. Proud to support them. So, the next series of questions that are

going to make you look more powerful, more attractive, their questions that display your

experience. So, an example of how this question works

in the social setting, let’s say you’re down in Austin, Texas speaking with a beautiful

Latin woman. And you find out that she’s originally from Colombia.

All right. So, you want to point out you’ve been down to South America. You haven’t

been to Colombia, you’ve been over to Ecuador. So, you say, “Hey, five years ago, I was

down in Ecuador and I had this amazing food. I was down there for a month visiting a family

friend and we went and saw these places. I’m curious, in Colombia, do you have anything

like that because I loved that experience?” All of a sudden, you’re asking her to expand

on her country. You recognize it is not the same thing as Ecuador. You know, South America

is not a country, it’s a continent. You show that you can travel. You become more

attractive because you show that you are or an interest in her and her country and that

you know the region. Now, in the workplace, asking questions that

allows you to display your experience can be a very powerful way to kind of set the

tone that this isn’t your first rodeo. So, you start with that precursor, “Hey, in

my last company, for two years, we dealt with this issue and then we were able to solve

it this way. So do you think that if we do this...?”

So, hey, everyone now knows you’ve dealt with problems like this for years and you

guys found a solution. So, they’re going to be more open to hearing that solution.

Now, this next series of questions the ones that build trust, these could be the most

important questions you ever ask somebody. Why? Because these are the questions that

truly build connection. They build rapport between people whether you’re in a work

environment, whether this is personal connection. These type of questions are what bring people

close. These are questions that ask them about their dreams, their hopes, their aspirations,

and in some cases, their regrets. The things that they wish they would have done.

Now, normally these are not questions that you start the conversation with, these are

questions that you’ve worked up to. You’ve got a bit of trust and now you want to open

up. That beautiful woman you’ve been chatting

with for now 20 minutes, maybe you want to ask her what does she see herself in a year,

what does she want to accomplish. Maybe your boss, the owner of the company you’ve been

working a lot more with him the last couple of months, maybe ask him the question, where

are we going to be in not just next year, but in five years, what are your big aspirations

for this thing you’re building. Questions like these are usually open-ended

and in general, I don’t think you should ask them lightly because you’re going to

be surprised how open sometimes people will be, how vulnerable they will be when they

can open up to somebody who’s really interested in what is on their mind, what’s on their

heart. Now, this next question by definition is the

most powerful one and this is the question that displays confidence. This is you having

the cojones to close the deal. You’ve been talking to her for an hour, chatting her up

on Messenger for a week. How about you ask her the big question on

your mind, “Would you like to meet up in person? Can I take you out?” With your boss,

“Hey, I like your vision. Do you see me fitting into one of these future roles?”

Let’s be honest, similar to the courage question at the very beginning, these can

have a negative outcome. You can be rejected, you can be told no. That being said, there’s

definitely an upside and you never know until you ask.

All right, gents, so what video to watch next? How about eleven skills that every man must

master? Seriously, if you don’t know these skills, you are not a man. No, I’m just

kidding. But, I do put these skills out there, I think

they’re really relevant, so check out this article right here, guys, if you want to find